Find Resilience
In our History and Yours

“I’m struggling with some stuff from my past that’s been weighing me down. When I was younger, I went through some really tough things at home, and bullying at school. Some of what I’ve been through includes being mistreated for not conforming to gender norms and for not being straight.”

“It’s been a while since my lowest points, but there are plenty of challenges I still face now. While I have made some progress in healing and putting the past behind me, it can seem like I take two steps forward and one step back. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to fully recover, or at least feel some real relief from the baggage I’ve been carrying since I was very young.”

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Healing is a journey, and what can feel like steps backward are often part of the process.

It’s okay to wander, or rest for a while, or to cover the same ground for as long as we need to until we’re ready to move in a new direction. Every path is different, each shaped by where we started.

ACEs — along with adversities like poverty, discrimination, and community violence — create stress in our bodies as children. When the stress response is activated often, or for a prolonged amount of time — it can become toxic. This is more likely to happen when our caregivers and environments don’t have the resources to help us process our stress in the ways we need.

Toxic stress can have lasting, damaging effects on our physical and mental health. The more adversity we experience growing up, the greater our risk of negative outcomes – from educational and career achievements to relationships, and from more than 40 health conditions to our lifespan itself. LGBTQ+ youth are more likely to experience ACEs and other adversity, including abuse, neglect, and bullying.

There is hope. Healing is possible.While we can’t change or erase the past, and we can’t always control the circumstances around us – we can determine where our story goes from here. Your desire to reflect on and heal from your past experiences is a powerful statement of your own strength and resilience.

Tips and Tools

Be Mindful

Mindfulness can help you focus on the present moment, acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and cultivate a sense of calm and focus. A mindfulness practice doesn’t have to look like a wellness stereotype. You may find it works best to bring mindfulness into your daily routine, like a morning mindful glass of water, or an afternoon mindful walk. Start small and try to release any expectations of what mindfulness is or could be. Maybe there’s something you already enjoy or have wanted to try — tarot, gardening, astrology, drawing — any of these can be practiced mindfully.

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Share with someone

Addressing our mental health can be key to our body’s overall well-being. Toxic stress can cause neurological, immune, inflammatory, cardiovascular, or metabolic issues. Many of us have found that the best place to start working on our mental health is to share what we’re going through with someone we trust — whether that’s a partner, a friend, a healthcare provider, or another member of your community. Consider reaching out — a conversation can be the start of feeling better.

Resources